this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual.  A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember.  ~ Amanda Soule  SouleMama

French Firm Frame?

A friend shared this article earlier today.  I tried to respond on Facebook, but ended up here instead.  I had a lot to say.  I do not agree with the article for several reasons.  This is the first time in almost 5 years that I have said something in a "discussion/debate" on line, so I want to start with an apology.  If I hurt feelings, I really, really, do not mean to.  Tell me I have.  We'll work it out, and I'll probably shut-up again. :)

#1. Generalizations!!!  I haven't lived in Paris, but when I was there, and in talking with our good friends who DO live there, this isn't quite how it works.  In some cases, I saw the exact opposite.  There is a great trust of the child actually, which I like, and is mentioned once in the article.  I just never saw nor have heard of the firm/authoritarian frame this trust is supposed to be within.

#2.  Where are the ages???  I have four children who all play independently.  They did that when they were DEVELOPMENTALLY ready.  It was different for each of them.  Seriously.  No "education" or stern voices required.  Wait!  There's an age in the first sentence, traveling with an 18 month old.  I went backpacking with an 18 month old.  We didn't bring a crib.  (We've never owned one.)  She toddled around the campsites.  She nursed when she was hungry or thirsty.  I did bring too many little toys/books.  She played with rocks and leaves.  It wasn't that hard, really.  I'd do it again.  I have, seven times in fact, always with more children along for the adventure.  Oh, I was a few weeks pregnant then.  (Sorry, it was 10 years ago.  My memory is fuzzy.)  Now that.  That I'd rather not do again.  The baby was great!  Me?  Not so much.  There are some more ages listed, but my complaint is more about when is a child naturally ready for something, without being trained.  That's important, and the answer is different for each child.  I don't see this mentioned.  And just so you know, my children are 11, almost 9, 7, and a few weeks shy of 3.  I'm 32.  There's our ages.

#3. Speaking of ages and stages, I trust that quite a few children will show these behaviors, and many of them are simply asking a child to act like an adult, when they are ready.  Wait, I just said that.  Some little ones act like children longer than others.  Big deal!  As long as the mother can find support for her adjusted expectations, go for it!!

#4. Further, when my children are ready to eat solids, use utensils, use the potty, sleep through the night, whatever, it's easy and they just do it.  Anna is the only one I did not take charge of her meals.  She's the neatest eater of them all.  She's also the most polite.  Maybe it has something to do with me very rarely, if ever telling her what to say?

#5. Maybe it has something to do with her siblings and myself speaking respectfully to each other?  Children learn best by EXAMPLE.  At the same time, we're talking about nature here.  No matter what methods of nurturing/"education" one uses, some behaviors just are, and are quite age and developmentally appropriate.  If I have a problem with them, I'll redirect and give an example of the behavior acceptable in our family (sometimes society.)  But everyone has a different "level" of what is acceptable.

#6. Just take a walk with your kid around the playground already!!!  See?  That's perfectly acceptable for me!  MY good friends would stroll with me and continue our conversation.  I've had some of the most nurturing discussions in just this way.  If it's not convenient for her at the moment, her child will understand this with a gentle explanation, and maybe she can soon make it convenient.

#7. In order for anyone to learn patience, they need to be put in a situation that is uncomfortable.  A synonym for patience is long-suffering!  Why purposefully have my child suffer?  We wait.  We take turns.  We do delay our gratifications, in developmentally appropriate ways.  We look for ways to enjoy ourselves while we wait.  I believe we're supposed to be happy in life, not suffering.  As my children get older, they learn patience.  Again, without my even thinking about it.  There are times I wish they were a bit more patient, but I wish I was more patient too sometimes.  We're all working on this.  Here's something that is hard for me to accept: How children bake!!  They are messy and SLOW and often get it wrong.  I need more patience than they do!  I do bake with my children and others'.  I know how important it is to them and the memories they hold onto.  Why on earth would I want to turn that into a lesson in "long-suffering" or remove the best part, eating the batter?  Sheesh!  Enjoy your muffins!  Oh, and when people say in order to do everything I do with children I must be so patient, I cringe.  I do what I do because I love children, both my own and others'.  If it's a "chore" or an uncomfortable situation, I do what I can to adjust that and myself, usually my expectations, until I'm happy again and don't have to be "patient" anymore. :)  (I think I'll be in Purgatory a bit longer after that paragraph, avoiding patience and all.) 

#8. My body cannot handle eating as infrequently as the Parisians supposedly do.  Why should I expect my children to?  (Parisian adults pop into local bakeries to grab a hot, fresh baguette or a few crepes or a bonbon a whole lot more frequently then they let their kids eat.  I know.  I've seen them.  It keeps their blood sugar even.  That in turn keeps a human being pretty happy. :)  )  I really do not like the correlations she draws here.  Kids sit quietly because they are hungry or have learned to delay their hunger signals??  What about: Kids sit quietly because they are developmentally ready to do so AND their parents value a meal shared together as a family, and therefore set the example of what behaviors are expected.  Please note: I have a child that likes to stand quietly at the table.  I didn't even notice until another adult pointed it out recently.  It's just who she is I guess.  I don't really care.

#9.  INDEPENDENCE  This is my new least favorite word.  I did use it earlier though.  I like when my children play independently because it is quiet.  Simple as that.  I LOVE when my children play together or with other children or with myself or another adult.  Why?  Because that is what life is about.  We do not live on a desert island.  I do not want them to.  I remember the monkey from my Psych book.

  

My children need to know how to interact with others to survive (and they need a food source available to them, when their body tells them they're hungry.)  Let me rephrase that.  The most important thing is that my children learn to be INTERDEPENDENT.

#10. If one kind of parent is "superior", another must be "inferior".  That's not true, (the inferior part.) I is judgmental and not even nice.  Everyone is doing their very best with the information and support they have available at that moment.  This maybe should be #1, but this is the order I thought of these.

What if I have children that would fit right into Paris?  They sit quietly in restaurants.   They sleep through the night, most of the time.  They wait their turn, most of the time.  They listen and respond, very well, most of the time.  They say "excuse me" when they have something to say, most of the time.  They don't eat batter, but they sure love to lick the bowl and spoon afterwards, most of the time.  (Sometimes they don't even do that.  Crazy children!)  But they can get a snack whenever they want.  I listen to them and respond.  I try not to control them, only because I really do not like it when someone tries to control me.  I save "no" for dangerous situations.  (A sure sign that I need more sleep: I start to say "no" more.)  Yet they know and understand that I am their mother, and my job is to guide them and keep them safe, in the sandbox and outside the fence.  My cadre holds both.

update, where I scan through pictures to remember what I've done in the last two years

brief:  I've been living and mostly enjoying life, writing blog posts in my head for the last two years.  The fourth baby coming along mixed with my work and volunteering made for good blog material.  Just no time to do it.  Maybe there still isn't enough of that elusive time stuff, but I'm going to try.  I'm hoping it helps with the whole solo parent deal we've got going.  There isn't very much adult conversation right now.  So I'm going to talk to myself here.  HA!  We'll see how well that works.

Feel free to stop now.  This is where I start rambling talking to myself.

more details which I may or may not write about in the future: I still teach Play and Learn.  Culture Cinderella was awesome and amazing, and I think I'm going to offer it again.  Since then I've taught Chemistry, Physics, and Playground Party for the 6-8 year olds at our co-op.  We went to the beach every summer, sometimes on a weekly basis.  We went hiking with our families each summer.  We made maple syrup each spring.  We have a cat.  Leah stopped dancing and started riding horses.  Sarah's still dancing.  David tapped for a time.  Now he wants to program computers and take drawing lessons.  We raised toadpoles.  Jesse and the children grew garden, after garden, after garden.  (There are a lot of pictures of beach days and vegetables.)  We went to Ft. Mackinac and saw one of my grandmothers.  Another grandmother died.  One of my sisters made her first profession with the Sisters of Mary.  Then she got to come home for a week.  We took her camping and square dancing.  I got back to Falling Water.  Jesse caught a bat.  David caught a fish.  They went to a Pirate's game.  We met our Norfolk friends up in Pennsylvania.  We spent many an afternoon at the Botanical Gardens, Zoo, and Aquarium.  There are new (to us) cabinets in our kitchen.  I finished one knitting project - the cutest robot you ever did see.  Family came to visit.  The rainbow blocks got played with, a lot.  We picked pumpkins, went trick-or treating, and played in a few musical salons.  Spent Christmas in Pennsylvania with our families.  Had our first and only doctor visit for a sick child.  Poor Anna!  Had our first and only ear infection.  Poor Sarah!  Another sister got engaged.  Then she got married.  I was the matron of honor.  Sarah was the junior bridesmaid.  Leah was a flower girl.  Jesse was children juggler extraordinaire.  ooo!  I knit a doll's hat too!  (I think I knit a few other hats for little girls, but they still have unfinished ends.)  We almost bought a house.  We almost bought another house.  We almost bought another house.  I wanted to buy another house, but then our future here became less certain.  I re-purposed some furniture and re-organized the toy room and library room.  One of my brothers got engaged.  We found Easter eggs in our yard, and lots of red, ripe strawberries.  Jesse took all four children canoeing in the Lafayette River.  (It's just at the end of our street.)  David made his First Communion.  Back to the sister getting married part.  I planned a Bridal Shower.  (You should read that last one again with great emphasis.  I planned a Bridal Shower.)  Leah and David now read short chapter books independently, silently, just because they like to.  Sarah reads Shakespeare and complains that there are not enough looong books for her to read.  Jesse was awarded the Congressional Fellowship.  We visited with friends. frequently.  I sprained my ankle, but it still hurt six months later, so maybe I did something else to it.  We broke the bed.  Jesse fixed it.  We have a new baby.  She's a beautiful, 1931, pear shaped Kanbe.  I could, and do, listen to her for hours.  Anna started to play her own imaginary, independent games.  Now she talks too.  We evacuated due to a hurricane and went north to pick apples and make applesauce, only days after the house shook and cracked a bit in an earthquake.  The hurricane took down a tree and blew a few window panes out.  After almost four months, the windows were finally replaced.  The big girls and I went on a dolphin watch tour.  I spotted the first ones, with my new glasses.  (They look even better on me!)  There were calfs!!!!  We now have two Girl Scouts in our family.  I started teaching Leah's First Communion class.  Moe died.  Jesse finished off half the attic for a room for David, accessed by a rope.  We met our new niece, Nitsah!  Jess and I had an over-due, overnight date.  (It'd been three long years, baby.)  Jesse moved to DC.  I drove to Michigan to see my sister, with all our children, after Jesse moved to DC.  Melanoma was found in a lymph node of Jesse's 94 year old grandfather.  After searching and scanning for cancer elsewhere, finding none, followed by surgery to remove the lymph node, Ray is cancer free and feeling fine.  Except he says he has to take more naps now.  :)  Everyone had birthdays and grew a little, or a lot. *sigh*  All this while I led League meetings, took helping calls, taught piano lessons, taught grades K-6 in our home - just not all at the same time, nursed a babe turned toddler turned preschooler, did the cooking and cleaning, or relied on my husband to cook and clean while I took care of the last bits of my PPD only to discover that there is a little (or a lot, depending on the day) SAD there too.

Now if you've made it this far, you can see why the blog posts are only in my head, if they're thought of at all.

And I'm too tired to form coherent sentences.  I look forward to writing here again.  It was good for me to look back and catch up.  Now it's time to look forward.

me, looking forward and back

Leah, fairies, death, and dreams

This is exactly the discussion I had with my six year old (WHEN did she become six??  I know when she turned six, but that doesn't mean a child becomes this age.  Anyhow,) at six am.  We were working on helping her back to sleep, and I wasn't sleeping, so I figured it was best to blog about it.

Leah asked for her bed to be made.  She's been sleeping in a small play hut that we got them for Christmas since, they got it in the beginning of January.  Don't ask me why.  She's been sleeping there and has mostly put herself to sleep at a reasonable hour.  I am not asking any questions.  I thought this was pretty special to want to be back in her own bed, so I asked what sheets she wanted, "polka dots, fairies, or flowers?"  The response: "Well, polka dots are in nature.  On leopards you know?"  "Does this mean polka dots?"  "Yes."

As Jesse made the bed I lay back down in our bed with her.  I mentioned cheerily that the fairy sheets also had polka dots on them, (only because I had almost mixed them up, looking for a set.)  "Mom.  When you look and look for something for a long time and you do not see it.  It is not real."

A short side track:  Fairies to our girls are like Santa to most.  I love for it to gradually fade or always remain.  Some time between November and December, Leah decided that fairies did not exist because she had never seen one.  I was crushed.  Crushed mostly because she had an entire world built around fairies.  She spent entire hikes telling her grandfathers stories about the fairies, for hours, for years.  (I am so grateful they recorded some of those in their hike journals.)  Leah and fairies were never to be separated, and she was an expert on them.  She'd tell you that too!  Having all this suddenly change came as a shock, and I missed that "little girl" belief and wonderment that disappeared in an instant.  She is enamored with gnomes now.  I'm not sure how long it will last, since she is trying to catch one, but she tells me stories about why they do not want her to see them, so there is still hope.

"I don't know..."  I hadn't ever really talked with her about her decided disbelief.  "What about God?  I believe in..."  I was cut off.  She said with the *knowing* tone, "There is a time you see God."  "When do you see God?"  "When you die."

This, took me by surprise.  I think every parent is when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that their child suddenly knows about death and understands some small part of it and is thinking about it enough that it comes up in casual conversation.  Casual conversation!  But that's just how Leah is.  She just knows and brings things up casually.

After six seconds of silence, I continued talking about something else.  I can't even remember.  But then I came back, "Who told you that?"  "Mom, I learned it at church."  I'm thinking: good, you're learning something at church (no CCD or Sunday school, just church.)  not so good: I want you to see God in more times and places than just death.  Mental note to remember to work on that.

Then we talked more about fairies.  She talked about how some of our stuffed animals and toys could be real (cats and dogs) and some could not (Care-Bears and Legos) and how it was still fun to play with them all.  (This was another piece I sorely missed, the complete shift in play.  All the fairy dolls, the fairy house we built for her when she was three, the fairy wings, all neglected.)  So maybe if fairies were not real, she could still play with them?

"Maybe fairies could still live in your imagination?" 

"You know mom, people do dream their imagination."

And with that she crawled out of my bed, said, "I love you." and made her way to fairy dream land.

once there was a boy and a girl...

They met.
The boy was nearly 13.
The girl had just turned 11.
They were both taught at home. The boy for his entire life. The girl for two years, going on eight.
The girl's family came to the boy's family farm for a homeschool evaluation.
The boy's family traversed the state doing evaluations and testing for homeschool families.
The girl was struck by the boy's free spirit, knowledge and strength.
She thought for sure he had a girlfriend in every county.
He thought for sure she was too sophisticated for him.
The boy was struck by the girl's wanting to watch him cut a log. Although many people came to the farm, few stopped to watch wood cutting. "The log was maple. The saw wasn't very sharp. The girl was cute."
Although that tree house never did get finished, something else got started that day, 20 years ago. A friendship that grew to a spark that grew to a love that grew to life lived together.

Can't wait to continue growing with you dearest! Who knows what the next 20, 40, 60 years will bring? I love you!

today - a decade

Today is March 30th, 2010. I've been waiting for this day for some time. Now it is here, and I better write it down before I forget. Today is the day I can say, "I rock!" (or at least my body does) and really mean it. Today is a day I want to celebrate me and my motherhood journey, so bare with me folks. On this day 10 years ago my journey began. Every day since then (except for the five I was in France) my body has grown, fed and comforted little people. That's 3,645 days of service. The most tiring, exhausting, rewarding, nourishing service I can imagine.

For the last decade my body's been:
pregnant (9 months)
nursing (19 months)
pregnant and nursing (9 months)
tandem nursing (10 months)
pregnant and tandem nursing (3 months)
pregnant and nursing (6 months)
tandem nursing (34.5 months)
nursing (7.5 months)
pregnant and nursing (9 months)
nursing (13 months)

Now I'm going to go take some vitamins! and I think a bubble bath is in order tonight.

The good and not so good adventure

Tonight we had a little adventure. All day was an adventure of sorts. But tonight we were in the back of a police car and the baby had to nurse, so I can chalk that one up on "where have you fed your baby?" Some parts were good. Other parts were not so good. This makes for good adventure. Right? Well, the kids will remember, and it may become one of those family stories that everyone laughs and sighs over decades down the road.

We sell almost 100 boxes of Girl Scout cookies! ~ good
I am dead tired. ~ not so good
I take the kids out to dinner. ~ good
We have to wait and wait for our meal. ~ not so good
But we have our favorite waitress. ~ good
One of the senior gentlemen at the table next to ours hollers over to me. ~ not so good
He hollers: "What's your secret?" ~ good
My response: "Me??" in total shock. ~ not so good
His reply: "Yes! What's your secret? I see a mom walk in with four kids and I cringe. Yours are delightful! You must be doing something right! Whatever it is, keep doing it. You must be doing something right!" ~ good, no, great.
That gentleman will never know how much I needed to hear that tonight. My mind's been spinning in negative circles lately about how I'm not doing something right somewhere or some such stuff, but he's right. I have delightful children (most of the time) and need to work on those negative thought cycles.
Back to the story:
I forget to give the waitress our coupon and have to wait for her to re-figure our check. ~ not so good
She returns to tell me that the gentlemen have left money to buy each of the kids a scoop of ice cream. ~ good Excuse me?! I am floored and almost choke-up.
The kids are allergic to everything on the desert menu. ~ not so good
They can get something else she says, to take home with them. ~ good
They can't decide what they want. ~ not so good
They pick something, then change their minds, and the order can still be changed. ~ good
We have to wait another 30 minutes for their treat. ~ not so good
We finally leave at 9 pm. ~ good
The van suddenly stalls on our way home. ~ not so good
I manage to steer it into a turning space on the median. ~ good
We are out of gas. ~ not so good
We can see a gas station from where we are. ~ good
We walk the two blocks to the station to find that the service area is closed and locked and they do not have a gas container. ~ not so good
We walk to the pizza shop to use their phone. ~ good
oops! I forgot. I don't have my cell phone. ~ not so good
I cannot find my roadside assistance card to call for help. ~ not so good
The pizza delivery man offers to give us a ride. ~ good
I have too many car seats. ~ not so good
There is a fire station a block in the other direction. ~ good
We walk there and ask for help. They too do not have a gasoline canister. ~ not so good
They offer us a warm place to sit, turn on the Disney channel for the kids and call for roadside assistance. ~ good, no, a God-send
A police officer comes instead, also without gas. ~ not so good
He offers to take me to a different gas station, but agrees to take me home instead since that is closer. I have gas at home! ~ good
We all get in the back of the officers vehicle. ~ I did not feel so good about the five of us back there without a single car seat, although the officer assured me we would not need them.
He asks on the way if my gas gage is broken. ~ not so good
No. I pulled up to a station, but due to a fussy babe, decided to go get dinner first. "I bet you won't make that decision again." No. I won't. Thank you.
We arrive home safe. ~ good
Jesse arrives home just as I retrieve gas from our garage. ~ double good
It is Thursday. Jesse teaches late. He usually gets home at 10:30 pm but was a bit early tonight. Perfect timing.
Jesse goes back with the officer to retrieve our stranded vehicle. ~ very good
Jesse fills up the van's gas tank. ~ also good
And all the children quickly go to bed and fall asleep. ~ so good, so very, very, good

And that is our good and not so good adventure, and how we got stranded and brought home in the back of a police car, and why I was nursing in said car, but how it all turned out well in

the end.

What are your family adventure stories?

eta: I haven't asked him yet, but another layer to this story is "What was Jesse thinking when he rode up on his bike at 10:20pm to find a police car parked in front of the house with three of our children inside?" good? or not so good?

Fair, Brown & Trembling

Only one story this week. This gave us more time to actually discuss it and ask questions. Questions are my favorite!

What is a henwife? If the henwife cut a piece from Trembling's dress, wouldn't her sisters notice? Why could she not go in the church? Is a mare a horse? Where is Zulu?

Fair, Brown & Trembling's graph:

Characters: Fair, Brown, Trembling, father, henwife, many princes

Trouble Makers: two sisters

Helpers: henwife

Magical Events: changes dress and provides horse

Ending: married after fighting, 14 children, sisters out to sea

Special Item: blue slipper

Food: ham, potatoes and peas

Dress: elegant, colorful, with head coverings

Architecture: castle, church

Value: beauty, kindness, children, horses

This is a traditional Cinderella tale from Ireland, with a twist or two. There are no step-sisters or a step-mother. Her own two sisters are the mean ones. The henwife provides an exquisite dress and mare for Trembling to go to church on three different Sundays. There is no party or ball. After they find and identify her with a shoe that is "neither too large nor too small", multiple princes from all over the world (hence Zulu) fight for Trembling's hand in marriage. The winner marries her, they have 14 children and the sisters are "put out to sea in a barrel with provisions for seven years - and were never seen again!"

Everyone did so well filling in their graph! Even the little ones were writing their great big letters and adding values to our list. This is something I did not expect to see. What great thinkers!

Culture Food: ham and potatoes.
While Trembling is at church, the henwife prepares the family meal for her. This is what she serves. (Note: Tasting is always optional.)

Culture Music: Dancing Willow's demo CD.
Children were dancing to this one!

Culture Craft: What kind of horse would you like the henwife to bring you? Milky white? Glossy black? White with blue and gold diamonds? Everyone got a horse to decorate, and decorate they did! I saw unicorns and wings, saddles and bridles, stirrups and sparkles. The creative juices were flowing!

Here is a sampling:

organic gold potatoes and nitrate, hormone, chemical, everything but delicious flavor free ham

Cinderella and Cendrillon

I teach on Tuesdays. Every Tuesday from now 'til May. All day Tuesday I'm running and teaching and guiding and playing and doing what I love best. Anyhow, I plan to blog about my older classes here. Follow the link if you want to see what we've done in Play and Learn, my younger class.

This semester I'm venturing into the world of 6-8 year olds. Well, I live with children who are 6 and 9, (and 5 and almost 1) but I had not yet taught this age range at our co-op. I love it! The ideas and thoughts and speculations that are shared in my class are amazing.

I teach Cinderkids. The goal is to read Cinderella stories from around the world, (I've found more than 20!) analyze and compare the stories, determine what the elements of the story tell us about the culture in which it was told, experience bits of that culture and have fun! We may even write our own stories at the end, using our favorite parts from the tales we hear.

In our first class I read two stories: Cinderella by Barbara McCintock and Cendrillon by Robert D. San Souci. I wanted to start with a "traditional" Cinderella tale. McCintock's did not disappoint. I chose this one for its illustrations, 17th century France, and its story line - Cinderella goes to the ball twice and forgives her sisters in the end.

The children have a graph to fill out for each story. We will use the graphs to help us compare the stories and for when we write our own. The class is evenly split. I have four older students who should fill out the graphs completely. There are four younger ones for whom the graph is not as important. They can write what they want, where they want or draw pictures. They are still using their critical thinking and reading skills. (For parents: I will keep the graphs with me so you do not need to worry about finding them each week.)

Here is the graph information for Cinderella:
Characters: Cinderella, mother, father, step-mother, two step-sisters, fairy godmother, prince Trouble Makers: step mother, two step sisters
Helpers: fairy godmother
Magical Events: changes pumpkin, four mice, rat, four lizards and clothes
Ending: married, finds husband for each sister
Special Item: glass slipper
Food: oranges
Dress: gowns, hair up and fancy
Architecture: grand palace, large homes
Value: beauty, silent suffering, small feet, kindness, forgiveness

As I said, traditional. We only discuss the characters and values. The children can record them if they wish.

Next we traveled to the Caribbean for Cendrillon. There are many similarities. The author even refers to France and uses some French in the text.
Characters: Cendrillon, mother, father, step-mother, step-sister, godmother, Paul
Trouble Makers: step-mother,
Helpers: godmother with a magic stick
Magical Events: changes breadfruit, six agoutis, (guinea pigs), opossum, five lizards and clothes
Ending: three day long wedding
Special Item: pink slipper
Food: punch, chocolate sherbet
Dress: satin, velvet, colorful, shift for servants
Architecture: large homes/manors
Value: silent suffering, true love

This is the only Cinderella tale I've found so far that is told from a different view point. The godmother tells the story, and she is not a fairy. She is given a magic stick from her mother, to use only for someone she truly loves. Everyone in class noticed the different narration right away. They also quickly found the similarities and differences between the two stories.

Culture Food: In Cinderella, she shares her plate of oranges with her sisters. The godmother raves about the chocolate sherbet served in Cendrillon. So we ate oranges and enjoyed chocolate, soy ice cream, (vanilla mango for those with allergies.)

Culture Music: Oboe Concerto - Adante by Marcello and Parfum Des Iles by Kali. The children picked out the different instruments they heard in each. (Note: I was beyond thrilled when I found Parfum Des Iles. It is from the exact same island that the story Cendrillon is told from, Martinique.)

Culture Craft: none this week. We ran over an hour as it was. Too busy with multiple servings of oranges and ice cream. =)

One Thing Leads to Another

Today was hard. Every Thursday is now. Jesse leaves before 9am. He does not get home until after 10pm. He teaches all day. I'm a wreck all day and do not get in my "I can do this by myself" groove until 9pm or so. We're working on this, together, but it ain't easy.

Here are the highlights of my day. I just realized that if I share these it may show how low the day was. Tough bricks. I'll share them anyhow.

I hung two loads of laundry on the line! The wind is doing most of the drying and nothing is coming in frozen. I got a load out yesterday. I have two more loads ready for tomorrow, before MORE SNOW falls over the weekend.

Jess called. From work. Enough said.

Anna took two naps. Each was one hour long. In my arms. She's weaning down to one nap. I'm not ready for that yet.

Anna fed me for the first time.

And she said "book" three or four times. She first said this earlier in the week, but now she's using it frequently. That's word #16!

Leah picked up her Legos. David cleaned off his bed so I could put clean sheets on it. Sarah helped with Anna. All after 9pm. That's when I got in my groove. Remember?

I caught up on the few blogs I'm following. I fell off the blogging wagon, in case you haven't noticed. I think? one of the best ways to get traffic and make friends (my goals) is to find a niche, (working on that) comment on others' blogs, (failing. I'm back to lurking.) and write. Write? Oh yes. That.

One of my new favorite places to lurk is at Apron Thrift Girl. I feel really good there, like I fit in. I want to keep going back. Today she wrote about getting good food cheap. I followed the link at the bottom to see if there were any discount groceries near us. Nope. But we may stop by one the next time we are in Richmond. Well, in that Salvage Grocery article there is a link to folks spending $50 or less each week on all of their food. I was instantly intrigued. Could we? How much for the kids? What about all the specialty foods we have to buy due to allergies? How many exceptions would I have to make? Could we still do lots of organic?

The rules are as follows: $50 each week for each adult. One of the writers has a 3 year old. He gets an extra $25 each week. Alcohol is not counted. Caffeine is. Eating out is.

I record all our expenses. I have for almost ten years. It's easy to look at 2009 and see... our monthly average for groceries and eating out, including alcohol, was $653.99. Excuse me?? To meet the challenge we have to spend less than $700 each month. We did it last year without even trying! And the number was even more impressive before I added in what we ate when we traveled. There. The highest moment of my day. (I will disclose that for the two months after Anna was born, the bills were higher. We bought more processed food. I was always eating, to the tune of $825 and $770. Cheap months helped to balance those out.)

I've had numerous friends ask me recently about living frugally. How do we do it? I think that will be my first niche. My goal for 2010 now is to get our monthly grocery bill even lower. How does $500 sound? I'll be back, promise, and let you know how it goes.

And speaking of one thing leading to another: After my last post there was a wonderful 5 year old's birthday party. On that day, Sarah started coughing. 6 days later, I started coughing. Jesse was coughing 6 days after that. This was near the now 9 year old's party, that had to be re-scheduled due to two sick parents. The cough did not spare a single one. I'll do the math for you. David got it on Christmas Eve. Anna started around New Years. Did I mention it came with two days of fever and aches and stayed for two weeks? No? And we traveled for over two weeks smack dab in the middle of hacking and aching? No wonder I fell off the wagon.

darndest things

I'm not sure about all the other kids out there, but mine say the oddest, most spectacular things when they are 5, or about to turn 5. Well, no. Sarah started early and hasn't stopped, but that's Sarah for you. Leah is almost 5. Recently I've heard:

"Drat!"

"I got it! When I grow up, I can be your girlfriend! Sound good?" me: "oh, yes! It does!"

"Mommy, you need to change your underwear. If you do not put on new underwear, then you need to change it. You really should change your underwear." (What?? I think she's heard this recently, directed to her.)

"Excuse me! I'm not going bananas over here, but I did ask for some cocoa!" (Leah calls warmed soy milk cocoa.)

"Let's turn our house into a museum!"

"This says 'word', right?"

"Oh! 12 take away 7 is 5, and 12 take away 5 is 7!"

"Catch this, Mom!" (Meaning, look at me while I practice a dance step or some other physical feat.)

"If I have enough money when I grow up, I'm going to be a mommy just like you."

Special Day

Special Day is a tradition we are trying out. I got the idea from my brother. Special Day is celebrated on the date of your birthday each month. You get to choose what is served for dinner. You can go somewhere with just Mom or Dad. You can choose a game or activity for the evening. The goal is to carve out a few moments for each child as an individual. So far we've watched movies, gone shopping, played chess and discovered new favorite meals. Simple things really. I think having that bit of guaranteed time does make a difference, however small.

The first thing the kids asked was if Mommy and Daddy got a Special Day too. Perhaps in the future, but not just now. I do want to share my birthday pictures and David's. Our spring and summer simply flew by. The memories did not make it this far. Here they are now.

my 30 year old toes

My birthday falls during our Florida vacation. Although it can be crazy on the beach with four little ones by yourself, (Jesse's working while we're there.) that's just where I wanted to be. (It feels good to pull out some warm summer memories in the cool, soggy fall.)

Leah's Special Day this month is her birthday, so I need to go send those invitations now.

Special Birthday Wishes and Love to my mom today!!

book collection

I collect children's books. Since I am a teacher and have four children, it is not a bad thing to collect. They never get dusty. They make me smile. There is always something new to add. There are my old favorites. I can easily find small gems in the thrift store or at a garage sale. It is the best kind of collection, I think.

With all the extra time I had on my hands, no Internet and all, I went and organized my collection.

There it is. I'm not sure how many there are. I stopped counting years ago. However, I know where everything is - fairy tales, counting, colors, bears, monkeys, dinosaurs, favorite authors, award winning books and authors, social studies, and that's only the top row of picture books. Every drawer is full of books too. Once a month I quickly put everything back where it belongs. Once a year I "touch" every book. This makes a catalog in my mind, and I remove duplicates or what we are ready to pass on.

I'm going to move my yearly book review to November. This is when our church collects books for children at the courthouse. They are read to while their parents are in court and then given the book. Many of them have never owned a book. Sarah is still trying to grasp this thought. I am too. Life without my collection is hard to imagine. Here is our pretty little pile for them.

Clean-Up

Yesterday we started to clean the street. After being cooped-up inside for three days, it felt good to get out and work.

Today we started to clean the house. (Sorry, no pictures.) After being cooped-up inside for three days, it felt stifling. There was crazy follow the leader that left things turned upside-down. The toyroom floor was submerged in, well, toys. Lego ziplines connected every surface in the toyroom. The Playmobil had a party in the bedroom. And the living room saw charades, puppet shows and a museum. Time to clean-up! (Oh! do I love our yard!)

6 month old Anna in just a part of our yard

The Flood

In case you haven't heard, we got some rain. Three days of it. Fifth highest flood lines in fact. There was actually more than 12 inches of rain in our trash can. Every time I tried to post a picture on FaceBook, the power went out. We never lost the electricity for very long. I cooked extra spaghetti, just in case. What we did loose was our phone and Internet connection, for four days. That's long enough to make me realize how much I've come to rely on those particular wires and long enough to put me behind on posting every day. Who knew a Nor'easter and remains of a hurricane would meet in our city and leave all this?

east end of our street

Those lights coming out of the water are along a street across the river.

more east end, an hour before high tide

There's a submerged dock out there.

west end

west end at high tide
The river took over the parking lot.


west end the next morning

Needless to say, we were stuck. The water rose on either side of us and in front of us, but our house stayed dry. We are grateful.