update, where I scan through pictures to remember what I've done in the last two years

brief:  I've been living and mostly enjoying life, writing blog posts in my head for the last two years.  The fourth baby coming along mixed with my work and volunteering made for good blog material.  Just no time to do it.  Maybe there still isn't enough of that elusive time stuff, but I'm going to try.  I'm hoping it helps with the whole solo parent deal we've got going.  There isn't very much adult conversation right now.  So I'm going to talk to myself here.  HA!  We'll see how well that works.

Feel free to stop now.  This is where I start rambling talking to myself.

more details which I may or may not write about in the future: I still teach Play and Learn.  Culture Cinderella was awesome and amazing, and I think I'm going to offer it again.  Since then I've taught Chemistry, Physics, and Playground Party for the 6-8 year olds at our co-op.  We went to the beach every summer, sometimes on a weekly basis.  We went hiking with our families each summer.  We made maple syrup each spring.  We have a cat.  Leah stopped dancing and started riding horses.  Sarah's still dancing.  David tapped for a time.  Now he wants to program computers and take drawing lessons.  We raised toadpoles.  Jesse and the children grew garden, after garden, after garden.  (There are a lot of pictures of beach days and vegetables.)  We went to Ft. Mackinac and saw one of my grandmothers.  Another grandmother died.  One of my sisters made her first profession with the Sisters of Mary.  Then she got to come home for a week.  We took her camping and square dancing.  I got back to Falling Water.  Jesse caught a bat.  David caught a fish.  They went to a Pirate's game.  We met our Norfolk friends up in Pennsylvania.  We spent many an afternoon at the Botanical Gardens, Zoo, and Aquarium.  There are new (to us) cabinets in our kitchen.  I finished one knitting project - the cutest robot you ever did see.  Family came to visit.  The rainbow blocks got played with, a lot.  We picked pumpkins, went trick-or treating, and played in a few musical salons.  Spent Christmas in Pennsylvania with our families.  Had our first and only doctor visit for a sick child.  Poor Anna!  Had our first and only ear infection.  Poor Sarah!  Another sister got engaged.  Then she got married.  I was the matron of honor.  Sarah was the junior bridesmaid.  Leah was a flower girl.  Jesse was children juggler extraordinaire.  ooo!  I knit a doll's hat too!  (I think I knit a few other hats for little girls, but they still have unfinished ends.)  We almost bought a house.  We almost bought another house.  We almost bought another house.  I wanted to buy another house, but then our future here became less certain.  I re-purposed some furniture and re-organized the toy room and library room.  One of my brothers got engaged.  We found Easter eggs in our yard, and lots of red, ripe strawberries.  Jesse took all four children canoeing in the Lafayette River.  (It's just at the end of our street.)  David made his First Communion.  Back to the sister getting married part.  I planned a Bridal Shower.  (You should read that last one again with great emphasis.  I planned a Bridal Shower.)  Leah and David now read short chapter books independently, silently, just because they like to.  Sarah reads Shakespeare and complains that there are not enough looong books for her to read.  Jesse was awarded the Congressional Fellowship.  We visited with friends. frequently.  I sprained my ankle, but it still hurt six months later, so maybe I did something else to it.  We broke the bed.  Jesse fixed it.  We have a new baby.  She's a beautiful, 1931, pear shaped Kanbe.  I could, and do, listen to her for hours.  Anna started to play her own imaginary, independent games.  Now she talks too.  We evacuated due to a hurricane and went north to pick apples and make applesauce, only days after the house shook and cracked a bit in an earthquake.  The hurricane took down a tree and blew a few window panes out.  After almost four months, the windows were finally replaced.  The big girls and I went on a dolphin watch tour.  I spotted the first ones, with my new glasses.  (They look even better on me!)  There were calfs!!!!  We now have two Girl Scouts in our family.  I started teaching Leah's First Communion class.  Moe died.  Jesse finished off half the attic for a room for David, accessed by a rope.  We met our new niece, Nitsah!  Jess and I had an over-due, overnight date.  (It'd been three long years, baby.)  Jesse moved to DC.  I drove to Michigan to see my sister, with all our children, after Jesse moved to DC.  Melanoma was found in a lymph node of Jesse's 94 year old grandfather.  After searching and scanning for cancer elsewhere, finding none, followed by surgery to remove the lymph node, Ray is cancer free and feeling fine.  Except he says he has to take more naps now.  :)  Everyone had birthdays and grew a little, or a lot. *sigh*  All this while I led League meetings, took helping calls, taught piano lessons, taught grades K-6 in our home - just not all at the same time, nursed a babe turned toddler turned preschooler, did the cooking and cleaning, or relied on my husband to cook and clean while I took care of the last bits of my PPD only to discover that there is a little (or a lot, depending on the day) SAD there too.

Now if you've made it this far, you can see why the blog posts are only in my head, if they're thought of at all.

And I'm too tired to form coherent sentences.  I look forward to writing here again.  It was good for me to look back and catch up.  Now it's time to look forward.

me, looking forward and back

Special Day

Special Day is a tradition we are trying out. I got the idea from my brother. Special Day is celebrated on the date of your birthday each month. You get to choose what is served for dinner. You can go somewhere with just Mom or Dad. You can choose a game or activity for the evening. The goal is to carve out a few moments for each child as an individual. So far we've watched movies, gone shopping, played chess and discovered new favorite meals. Simple things really. I think having that bit of guaranteed time does make a difference, however small.

The first thing the kids asked was if Mommy and Daddy got a Special Day too. Perhaps in the future, but not just now. I do want to share my birthday pictures and David's. Our spring and summer simply flew by. The memories did not make it this far. Here they are now.

my 30 year old toes

My birthday falls during our Florida vacation. Although it can be crazy on the beach with four little ones by yourself, (Jesse's working while we're there.) that's just where I wanted to be. (It feels good to pull out some warm summer memories in the cool, soggy fall.)

Leah's Special Day this month is her birthday, so I need to go send those invitations now.

Special Birthday Wishes and Love to my mom today!!

overheard

We are on vacation. The days are filled with visiting, fixing, exploring. Our second trip is usually in August, to PA, but we bumped it up this year. More on that later. Here are snippets of what I've heard today:

Anna: "aaahhhaa" She's cooing and smiling at everyone and letting the great grandma and grandmas hold and oogle over her and even put her to sleep.
Leah: "I'm going to make a pizza and store it for winter. Isn't that a good idea?" prancing about Grandma's kitchen with a freezer storage container

David: nothing Sorry folks. He was on the roof, fixing that, all day yesterday. Today was spent in the great grandparents' cottage fixing the floor and under the mower, well, fixing the mower. And starting the mower and driving the mower. That is a dream come true. The boy's second word was "gractr", meaning he wanted a ride. Now he can drive. Needless to say, I haven't seen or heard much from him these days.

Sarah: "Well, if this was a fantasy book, this would be the answer. But, it isn't. So this is the answer." studying for her end of 3rd grade test. Sarah too has been off and about. The only time I hear from her is when we are driving to see another friend and studying in the van.

I love vacations...

Elizabeth Rose

Isn't my new niece just the prettiest baby ever? I just want to snuggle right up with her. She better be careful or Leah will give her a new name. (Leah's latest name from Anna is Anna Cutie.)

Elizabeth arrived yesterday morning, welcomed by her brother Joseph and sister Catherine. Tonight I was out shopping for them. When David was born, one of my LLL leaders gave me a gift bag with a few things for him and books for Sarah. I decided then and there to carry on the tradition. When my friends have a baby, the siblings receive gifts too. A few books or toys. Some small special thing for them.

When I went to check-out, a woman stopped me to ask about my sling. I could tell that she was truly interested, wanting to know where I got the rings, asking about the padding. She shared that she had four grown children, wore them all and birthed all but one at home. She said it was encouraging for her, to see me and Anna and our sling. I said it was encouraging for me, to know that all the intense mothering I do now will pay off.

One day, all too soon, my children will be adults. I will admire a mother's sling. One of my daughters will help me shop and assist a mother holding her babe close. I want to remember the joy, peace and connection that the mother and her daughter shared with me tonight. That is what I want at the end. The encouragement we gave each other, is what we all need along the way.

Joy, Peace and Connection to you Elizabeth Rose! Welcome!

Sister

One of the highlights of our travels is seeing my sister. This is a rare opportunity. When you have over 13 hours of driving time between you, little children and pre-determined visiting days, you treasure the moments. Unfortunately, my body and baby had other plans. I had a weird allergic reaction combined with early labor signs. I was not pleasant company. I'm so grateful my children were. Sarah chose a special book to read. She does this each year, practicing words like Babylonian, her inflection, studying the illustrations so she knows what she wants to point out. They played. And connected with their aunt. I tear-up, thinking how they went on to have a fabulous visit without me, each of them valuing in their own way our special time. I hope to have a few moments come summer, so Sr. Theresa Paul can meet her new niece.

why say good bye, say hello

We stopped in to see my grandma today. This was probably my chance to say good-bye. Who knows. She may strengthen. Parts of her memory may return. Eating may come easier for her. Her body may just feel the love and support rallying behind her. But we live so very far away. I want to take the opportunities, to make the opportunities I can.

I went in knowing she would not recognize me. I just wanted to make her smile. I wanted to say "hello", "I love you," and maybe have a moment of connection. Mission accomplished.

She seemed surprised to see us, but smiled as soon as I told her how beautiful she looked and asked what her secret was. Would she share it with me? Nope, then everyone would be the same and life would not be interesting. She took my hand. But my hands were cold. She wanted to see my children. I lifted each of them up. No names. Just lots of smiles. Numerous "I love you"s. She reached out to "take" each of their noses. Sarah climbed into her bed to read her a story. Grandma read the title, Only the Cat Saw. (I want to keep that book for always now.) She loved the illustrations. At the end, the cat is asleep. Grandma said she was tired. She had just received a breathing treatment before we arrived and the medications make you drowsy. She slept. We left.

Relatives live a matter of minutes away, so we went to visit. Jesse stayed there with the kids and let me go back to have more time with Grandma. This time I held her hand through a sheet. I didn't want to disturb her with my temperature. There was no chair. I sat on the floor beside her bed. We watched TV, or I lay my head down and prayed silently. We were present with each other. She laughed at an orange monster in a commercial. I laughed too. When we saw an add for skiing and tubing, I asked if she preferred the snow or the sand dunes. I hoped to spark a memory, since the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes were her favorite vacation spot. She replied that they both had their good qualities. You couldn't really compare one to the other; showing the rational Grandma I remember rather than the recollection. I had to leave. She asked where I live. When she heard we're near the ocean now, she said she wants to come visit some day. I said we'd put her feet in the waves. Someday...

I came to say my "good byes." Grandma kept showing me "hello". So much "I love you."

Family

We haven't been all together like this for about two years.

Front row is Amy, David, John, Sarah, Rebecca, (now Sr. Theresa Paul) Leah, Andrea, Brian holding Catherine, my dad holding Joseph. Middle row is myself and Mary Therese. In the back is Jesse, Andrew, Michael and my mom.

David says his favorite part about Christmas is seeing all the family. I agree.

Merry Christmas!

First we go to Jen's great Christmas Eve party. We see old friends, eat delicious, allergy friendly food and the kids play. Next we are off to my family's and Christmas Eve Mass. We usually do Midnight Mass, but I have trouble after 11pm these days.

Christmas morning we are up dumping full stockings and making pancakes. This is one tradition I missed this year. I forgot to bring my GF, DF, EF pancake recipe and my gingerbread person mold. So, no people shaped pancakes. We did share a beautiful morning Mass with my family.

the girls

the boys

(David would not come sit or stand with the family again.)

Then we are back to a flurry of gifts, mounds of food, relaxation and packing presents for the trip home, leaving some out to entertain us for the remainder of our visits.

We haven't had Christmas in our home for three years. The kids are starting to ask for one. With four young ones to transport next year, we may just give it a try.

Visit

We had such a wonderful visit with my brother, his wife and their two children. (Joseph is 3.5 and Catherine is almost 2.) We ate, drank, talked, relaxed, played games and swam at their hotel pool. When they were not playing at "The Richman Children's Museum" as my brother called our home, we took them to:

http://www.childrensmuseumva.com/ Joseph loved the city bus. I mean really, really LOVED it.

http://www.norfolkbotanicalgarden.org/

http://www.virginiazoo.org/

and the beach. (The only time I remembered my camera.)

With all the bodies about, (They stayed here two of the nights.) and the ages of all the little ones, we had a delightful time.

Thank you for coming down guys! We'll see you at Christmas!