I'm hoping to keep this short. It's the end of a long day.
Today I drove to Richmond for LLL's CSEs. (La Leche League's Communication Skills Education) I gained so much from the two sessions I attended in Pittsburgh before we moved, and was very excited to refresh my listening and communication skills. In all, it was worth my time and trip, but did not deliver the "wow" I got three years ago. I saw where I've grown - and where I still need to work. (Keeping the spotlight off myself is still there, but getting easier.) A few details were new. Remembering the general concepts was reassuring.
We practiced all the different ways to respond to mothers. Again, I got a practice statement that hit too close to home, about a mother gossiping. This time it triggered another anxiety attack. How embarrassing! I wish I could get a little ticker tape warning, "In about 90 seconds you will start crying uncontrollably, your heart will race and you'll be short of breath. Get some water and fresh air now, be conscious of your breath and watch for triggers." Instead... well I guess it would not be called an anxiety attack if you knew it was coming. ;)
Claire was there! It was wonderful seeing her. She taught me a good lesson: always listen closely to my inner voice. I kept thinking I should invite her. I didn't because I thought I was too late, a day past the registration deadline. We SO could have carpooled! We hopefully will for the next one, come April. She also reminded me what a delightful, dedicated mother she is, and pretty cool friend.
Lastly, I felt baby move last night. I guess it was early this morning, 2:30. All that squirming actually woke me up. I thought maybe it was a dream, but on the way home I felt the distinct connection between baby and bladder. oh, the joys to come!